Cupla

Tag: relationship research

  • How to Balance Kids, Work, and Couple Time (Without Losing Your Sanity)

    How to Balance Kids, Work, and Couple Time (Without Losing Your Sanity)

    Updated December, 2025

    The Back-to-Busy Trap

    January often feels like a collision course: kids head back to school, work ramps up after summer, and suddenly every weeknight is crammed with activities. In the chaos, quality couple time is the first thing to vanish. Many partners end up operating more like coworkers managing logistics than lovers enjoying each other.

    But here’s the truth: research shows couples who intentionally carve out time for each other, no matter how small, report higher relationship satisfaction and lower stress levels (Impett et al., 2020). The key is planning it in, not hoping it magically appears.

    Step 1: Protect “Couple Time” First

    Before filling your shared calendar with school runs, meetings, and errands, block out time for each other. It doesn’t need to be elaborate, a standing Wednesday night micro-date or even a morning coffee ritual counts. When it’s locked in early, everything else organizes around your relationship, not over it.

    Step 2: Use One Source of Truth

    Text messages and fragmented reminders are where most couples stumble. A shared calendar app like Cupla shows both schedules side by side, making it clear where overlaps, conflicts, and openings are. You see the full picture, without needing another 27 back-and-forth texts.

    Step 3: Build Joint Boundaries

    One underrated move? Saying “no” together. Too often, one partner commits the couple without checking in. Instead, review the week as a team and agree on your boundaries, whether that’s declining a dinner, blocking a no-plans Sunday, or keeping two nights family-only.

    Step 4: Add Small Rituals, Not Just Big Dates

    Yes, a monthly date night matters, but daily and weekly rituals hold you steady. Try:

    • Ten-minute debriefs after work.
    • Friday pizza night with no screens.
    • Weekly walk-and-talk check-ins.

    These micro-moments add up, and when they’re scheduled, they actually happen.

    The Bottom Line

    Back-to-busy season doesn’t need to mean the end of your couple time. By putting your relationship first in the calendar, using a shared tool like Cupla, and protecting rituals, you can stay connected even when life gets hectic.

    👉 Ready to reclaim your time? Download Cupla and turn the back-to-busy chaos into calm.

    Want to understand more about Rituals? Read our guide on the impact of skipping rituals here.

  • 2025 Impact Report

    2025 Impact Report

    Cupla Impact Report 2025
    Insights from our Annual Relationship Survey

    Cupla is on a mission to empower couples to spend more quality time with one another.

    Critical to ensuring we achieve our mission, is collecting meaningful and actionable feedback from our valued users. Our Annual Relationship Survey is an opportunity for users to tell us about their romantic relationship, how they tend to use Cupla, and how using Cupla has affected their relationship. 

    Our 2025 Impact Report collates feedback from over 2100 users giving us incredible insights into relationships around the globe.

    Key Takeouts:

    76.3% of users reported that Cupla improved their communication, making it the top-rated benefit.  Effective communication is a critical predictor of relationship satisfaction, helping couples navigate challenges and resolve conflicts (Ruffieux et al., 2014).

    63.5% of users agreed that Cupla helped them spend more quality time together. In modern relationships, couples spend less time together than previous generations due to work, social obligations, and digital distractions (Finkel et al., 2014). Quality time is positively linked to relationship commitment, closeness, and overall happiness (Wilcox & Dew, 2012).

    Frequent app usage yields greater relationship gains; users who accessed Cupla 5+ times per week experienced greater benefits in stress reduction, communication, and closeness. The optimal usage time was found to be 20-30 minutes per week. More frequent use results in greater relationship improvements over time.

    Comparing couples relationship satisfaction over time:

    Does using the app promote happier and healthier relationships?

    Overall, we found that using Cupla more frequently, for longer periods, and planning more shared events and dates was linked to greater relationship satisfaction. However, it is important to note that this link could go bothways—while app usage may enhance satisfaction, it is also possible that couples who are already more satisfied are more inclined to use the app.

    We can look at users’ relationship quality over time to help inform this ‘chicken and the egg’ dilemma. Specifically, we analyzed how app usage in 2024 influenced relationship quality while accounting for users’ relationship quality in 2023. This approach allowed us to assess how using the app contributed to relative increases in relationship quality, beyond what might naturally occur (i.e., the fact that a highly satisfied couple in 2023 is likely to be highly satisfied in 2024). For instance, in these analyses, we assessed whether using Cupla predicted a couple’s closeness (or other aspect of relationship quality) in 2024, beyond their closeness levels in 2023.

    Data from 95 users revealed that more frequent Cupla use was linked to meaningful (residual) increases in several aspects of relationship quality, even after considering 2023 levels. These findings suggest that Cupla may actively fosters relationship growth rather than simply maintaining existing levels.

    View The Full Report Here
  • Annual Relationship Survey

    Annual Relationship Survey

    First Annual Relationship Survey

    At the end of 2023, Cupla conducted our first Annual Relationship Survey to understand how couples feel about their relationship and the impact Cupla was having on their lives.

    A whopping 850 users provided both quantitative and qualitative feedback giving us incredible insights into relationships around the globe. 

    Key Takeout:

    One key takeout from the survey, was to really understand at what relationship stage are couples engaging with Cupla (i.e. are in happy, committed relationships, or are they looking to solve a significant relationship issue).

    We asked respondents to report their feelings of Love, Commitment, Trust, Satisfaction, Closeness, Passion, and Satisfaction with Quality Time in their relationship. These are all key aspects of relationship quality that research suggests are important for keeping relationships intact long-term (1).

    When we averaged across respondents’ feelings of Love, Commitment, Trust, Satisfaction, Closeness, Passion, and Satisfaction with Quality Time, we found that they scored an average of 6.34 out of a possible 7. In other words, respondents were very happy in their relationships, and are likely using Cupla to enhance an already satisfying relationship!

    When asked about the benefits of Cupla 62.5% of users agreed that Cupla has reduced barriers to spending time together.

    Most significantly, respondents strongly endorsed that using Cupla has made them excited about the future. This result is very important given couples’ commitment levels are more tied to how satisfied they expect to be in the future, rather than the current state of their relationship. By keeping users excited about the future of their relationship, Cupla is helping couples’ relationships succeed in the present (2).

    These results provide us with incredible knowledge that will help shape Cupla for the benefit of our users. 

    Tap the link below to access our full report prepared by Dr Jessica Maxwell and Dr Emily Cross.

    View The Full Relationship Survey Here

    1- Fletcher, G. J., Simpson, J. A., & Thomas, G. (2000). The measurement of perceived relationship quality components: A confirmatory factor analytic approach. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 26(3), 340-354.
    2- Baker, L. R., McNulty, J. K., & VanderDrift, L. E. (2017). Expectations for future relationship satisfaction: Unique sources and critical implications for commitment. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 146(5), 700.

  • How to Make a Couples Chore Chart in 2025 (and Making It Work)

    How to Make a Couples Chore Chart in 2025 (and Making It Work)

    The nature of housework has changed since the 1940s. The days of housewives doing all the chores and looking after the two-and-a-half kids are gone. Full-time homemakers are rarer, and both partners are now expected to pull their weight in housekeeping.

    And that’s the way it should be!

    But all that leaves the little matter of organizing the chores.

    That’s where chore charts come in!

    The basics of a household chore charts

    Chore charts for couples help you and your partner track who is doing what, when, and how often.

    They’re also incredibly useful in ensuring that the chore distribution is fair.

    All too often, one partner can end up doing more than their fair share, and without a chore chart that outlines this inequity, the extra work can go unnoticed. That’s a surefire way to create resentment.

    You might be thinking: “Yeah, right.”

    If we don’t have a to-do list of chores between my partner and I, we’ll end up arguing? That’s a little far-fetched.”

    Full points for confidence.

    But the research isn’t on your side. One Pew Research poll found that sharing household chores was one of the top things associated with a successful marriage.

    What the couples are saying

    More than 60 % of respondents said that sharing household chores was a vital part of marital success. It was only outranked by having a happy sexual relationship and faithfulness to your partner. 

    In fact, sharing household chores outranked good income, good housing, shared tastes and interests – it even outranked having children. Yes, according to science, chores are more important to a happy marriage than kids.

    Sorry, Billy.

    So how do you stop marital from going martial?

    With a chore chart – but it has to be one that actually works.

    How Does a Couples Chore Chart Work? 

    There are dozens of different ways to do a couples’ chore chart.

    Some couples work perfectly with a notepad on the fridge with a big list of all the things that need to happen. Other couples go full project manager and nail down exact processes and timelines.

    Here are a few common methods:

    • List all the chores that need to be done regularly and post it up somewhere visible in the home. When the task is completed, it gets ticked off.
    • Create individual chore lists that each person keeps separately. The expectation that each of you are responsible for your own tasks.
    • Develop a rotation, where each partner is assigned a different daily chore based on the day of the week. You cook tonight and they do laundry, they cook tomorrow and you do laundry, etc.

    The key is that every couple works differently and has a different ideal way of doing a chore chart. 

    For example, each partner having their own daily tasks can be highly effective for couples who like to have clear-cut expectations and the opportunity to do them in their own way.

    But for a couple who prefers to be a little more free-flowing with who does what, that system can be too rigid.

    There’s no one-size-fits-all

    Be ready to adapt or ditch a chore chart that doesn’t work.

    Printable vs. Digital (Daily, Weekly, Monthly) Chore List

    If you are tech-savvy, you can easily make a couples’ chore list in Canva. Canva is packed with templates of weekly schedules and daily chore chart templates which you can edit according to your needs.

    Additionally, you can find a simple chart generator online, download it, print it out, and pop it on your fridge. This will allow you and your partner to write down what needs to get done and when.

    Check it often

    On the other hand, if you don’t check your printed list often, there’d be no way of knowing if the task was done!

    If you were away from home, you’d have to text and ask your partner about that.

    What is the point of having a list then?

    Luckily, modern times have brought not just more shared responsibilities but also ways to to tackle them together. There’s a variety of shared chore list apps for couples that’ll prevent any possibility of an argument.

    Download a chore app for convenience

    If you download a chore list app on both your and your partner’s phones, all the information on the tasks will be just a few clicks away.

    Also, you’ll be able to set different types of charts that show how you want to divide things. Here are some examples:

    • A daily cleaning checklist: Who should vacuum tomorrow? Who takes out the trash next time?
    • A ‘someday’ checklist: Are you going to be doing deep cleaning together? When will the both of you have time to talk about some long-term plans?

    All of these questions are answered in a matter of seconds. This is why many couples opt for the apps instead of going the traditional way.

    DO’s And DONT’s of a chore chart for couples

    While every couple works differently, there are a few consistent rules to making an effective chore chart. These are, in our opinion, the most useful:

    • DO include shared tasks that you work on together.
      Collaboration is key to a strong relationship and working together to keep your life and home ticking is a great, practical and powerful team-building exercise.
    • DO trade chores every so often.
      Chores suck, but you can make them suck less by changing up your routine If your partner always does the dishwasher while you always handle the laundry, swap for a week. This also has the great side effect of helping you both appreciate the work that the other does around the house.
    • DO make sure your chore chart is easy to manage and find.
      Making a couples’ chore chart and keeping it up to date can be a chore in itself. The harder your task list is to find and use, the less likely you’ll be to use it. Our advice? Use a shared digital to-do list that you can both access and update, such as the Cupla To-Do list.

      Physical paper gets messy, “honey-do” lists get lost – but mobile apps are always right in your pocket.

    • DON’T set unrealistic targets.
      Chore charts only work if the chores on them are actually achievable. Overload yourselves and you’ll end up missing the target every time and – surprise! – you’ll stop using the chart altogether. Start small, then ramp up if you need to.
    • DON’T be afraid to make changes.
      Chores are a tough but essential part of a couples’ life. A chart is supposed to make them easier to manage, not harder. Regularly catch up with your partner about how it’s going and work together towards making adjustments that fit both of you. Don’t let the chart become a tyrant!
    • DON’T try to divvy up chores based solely on numbers.
      Some chores are harder than others. Some people like certain chores more than others. Some partners have more time and energy to give to chores than others. Splitting household tasks right down the middle for your chore chart ignores the variety of other aspects to consider. It may seem “fair” to do it 50/50, but in a lot of circumstances, it doesn’t feel that way. Focus on what feels fair for you both – and make changes if it doesn’t (see previous don’t!).

    Divide chores and tasks with a good app

    Creating a chore chart is one thing; it’s another making sure it actually gets used.

    Get more tips here on What to do when your partner doesn’t help with the housework.

    Cupla, the shared calendar app designed exclusively for couples, offers an integrated shared to-do list feature on your phone that helps both of you stay across what chores you each need to do in a simple, understandable interface.

    Add the chores you each have agreed to, and Cupla automatically syncs your devices.

    If you need the chore done by a particular date, simply set a deadline on either device and it’ll carry across to the built-in couples’ calendar.

    And once all the chores are done? Well, then you have quality time 😉 Cupla can help you find awesome date night spots and times that work for both of you, and keep you “on-task” with reminders and date night goals.

    It’s a fact that date nights are better when you come home to a tidy house. Handle the work and the fun in a single app with Cupla. Trial it now for free on iOS or Android.

  • New Year, New Us: 30 New Year’s Resolutions for Every Couple

    New Year, New Us: 30 New Year’s Resolutions for Every Couple

    Many people see the dawn of the new year as an opportunity to start anew. Maybe you didn’t read as much as you wanted to or you want to make a more conscious effort to be a little more adventurous. Whatever it is, crafting New Year’s resolutions can be a great way to test our tenacity and make a commitment to ourselves.

    But what if we told you that New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be a solo activity? That’s right – creating resolutions as a couple can be a powerful way to reinforce your bond and encourage a little teamwork. When two people align on a goal, they can enjoy a deeper connection grown from ambition and mutual support. 

    From bettering your communication to going on more adventures together, there are so many ways you can set intentions for the new year. Looking for New Year’s resolution ideas for couples? Read on!

    New Year’s Resolutions to Strengthen Your Bond

      1. Schedule weekly date nights

    According to the National Marriage Project, date nights can be helpful in numerous ways, from relieving stress, extending emotional support to one another, and increasing relationship quality.

      1. Learn each other’s love language

    When partners learn and practice each other’s love language – physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, or receiving gifts – they enjoy higher levels of relationship satisfaction.

      1. Learn each other’s apology language

    Along with love languages comes the inevitable need for apology languages, and knowing your partner’s apology language can resolve conflicts more effectively and turn them into opportunities for deeper connection.

      1. Attend a couple’s workshop

    Couple’s workshops can give you both valuable insights and tools to deepen your connection in a structured environment, whether it’s focused on sex, emotions, or practical skills.

      1. Participate in what your partner is passionate about

    Showing an interest and taking part in things your partner is passionate about can improve relationship satisfaction and closeness. So go to that convention, pick up that book, or muster up the courage to try something completely new!

    New Year’s Resolutions to Improve Communication

      1. Have regular relationship check-ins

    Setting aside dedicated time for regular check-ins can let you find time to openly communicate your feelings, make progress towards shared goals, and even address any issues that you’re keeping in.

      1. Share your thoughts

    Try out fun activities that encourage you both to share what you’re feeling and thinking. You might want to take time to share one highlight and one challenge from your day, for example, on a daily basis. These 50 questions can help kick start the conversation.

      1. Work on compromising

    Coming to a compromise is about finding common ground and saying, “I hear and value you,” which can lead to more respect within the relationship.

      1. Leave notes of appreciation for each other

    Leaving notes for each other to find can be an exciting and heartfelt gesture that can brighten both your days and foster a sense of appreciation. 

      1. Establish no-tech times

    Technology can negatively interfere with our relationships. In fact, 45% of couples consider it a big problem in their marriage. Decide on regular periods where you create uninterrupted space to connect with each other.

    New Year’s Resolutions for a Healthy Lifestyle

      1.  Cook and try new healthy recipes

    Exploring new recipes together can become both an adventure and a commitment to your health! Try new ingredients, cuisines, and see what you can incorporate into your routine meals.

      1. Commit to a fitness challenge together

    Whether it’s training for a 5K, mastering a new yoga flow, or going for regular walks, shared physical goals can offer a mutual feeling of accomplishment.

      1. Try a new sport or activity

    Show each other support as you both tackle new challenges and share the excitement of discovering a new sport or physical activity.

      1. Set joint health goals for the year

    Consider setting goals like daily step count, active minutes, or challenge each other to specific weekly activities to encourage each other to amp up your physical health.

      1. Spend more time outdoors

    In the modern day, most people spend way too much time indoors. Make an effort to spend more time in nature by taking a hike through local trains, picnicking in the park, or enjoying the sunset together. 

    New Year’s Resolutions for Financial Freedom

      1. Plan for a big joint purchase

    Setting your sights on a big joint purchase like a new home, car, or dream vacation can bring excitement to your relationship and encourage you to work together towards a common financial goal.

      1.  Learn about investing together

    Investing can seem complicated, but things like studying the stock market and exploring real estate opportunities can help you grow your nest egg over time and feel more confident about financial management.

      1. Have monthly financial check-ins

    Increase your transparency and trust through monthly check-ins to discuss spending habits, reviewing savings goals, and adjusting your budget.

      1. Create a joint budget plan

    Speaking of budgeting, creating a joint plan can pave the way for less stress and allow you to tackle your financial future as a team. Use tools like spreadsheets and budgeting apps to help!

      1. Cut down on spending in a specific category

    If you’re finding yourself a little too joint at the hip with Uber Eats, for example, it might be time to challenge yourselves to dial back in that spending category. Instead, you could replace that overspending with fun and creative ways to enjoy homemade meals together.

    New Year’s Resolutions for Personal Growth

      1. Volunteer for a cause you both care about

    Whether it’s lending a hand at the local pet shelter or serving meals at a soup kitchen, volunteering together can provide a shared purpose.

      1. Take turns teaching each other something new

    Learning is the spice of life, so why not take turns teaching each other new skills. Maybe you want to try out the art of watercolor painting or teach your partner how to master the secrets behind your grandmother’s spaghetti sauce?

      1. Plan a trip to a place neither of you have been

    Planning a getaway to a destination that’s fresh for both of you can allow you to fully discover a new place together and create lasting memories.

      1. Start a new hobby together

    Diving into a new hobby is a great way to spark joy and grow together. Some examples might include salsa dancing, enrolling in a pottery class, or learning a new language.

      1. Spend some time apart

    Spending time apart is just as important as spending time together – it lets each person in the relationship pursue their own passions and interests and maintain a sense of individuality.

    New Year’s Resolutions for Intimacy and Connection

      1. Commit to going to bed at the same time at least once a week

    That’s right! There’s a link between couples who synchronize their sleep schedules and relationship satisfaction. While you might not be able to do this every night, making an effort to do so as much as possible can greatly benefit your relationship.

      1. Share your desires openly

    Opening up to your partner about your deepest desires can be a wildly enriching experience for a relationship, whether it’s more adventurous date nights or interests in the bedroom you haven’t explored yet.

      1. Work on other types of intimacy other than physical

    While physical intimacy is important for many relationships, try working on your emotional intimacy through open-hearted conversions or intellectual intimacy by having discussions on books or movies. You’d be surprised what you might discover about each other! Check out some ideas here.

      1. Try new things in the bedroom

    There are plenty of ways to inject some novelty and excitement into your intimate life that can enhance connection or introduce playfulness into the bedroom. For example, a positions dice game or exploring sex toys.

      1. Pamper each other

    Taking the time to pamper each other can be as simple as surprising your partner with a home-cooked meal, giving them a relaxing back rub, or running a hot bath. These thoughtful gestures show appreciation and care, which we all want to show our significant others!

    Strengthen Your Bond This Year With Cupla

    The Resolutions we’ve explored aren’t just tasks you want to check off a list – they’re ways you can build a stronger, more intimate bond with your partner for the long run. Often, the biggest changes come about from the simplest actions: a heartfelt conversation, a squeeze of the hand, or even allowing someone to enjoy their own space. 

    Making a pledge to each other means committing to a journey of mutual growth. It’s all about prioritizing your relationship not just through grand gestures and special events, but through your everyday interactions. If you’re looking for a way to keep your New Year’s resolutions on track, Cupla can offer a unique space where you can synchronize schedules, plan dates, and stay connected. Ready to start your journey with Cupla? Start your free trial today.

  • Welcome Our Newest Relationship Expert – Chelsey Liaga

    Welcome Our Newest Relationship Expert – Chelsey Liaga

    We’re excited to welcome Chelsey Liaga, our newest relationship expert, to the Cupla team alongside Jessica Maxwell. Chelsey is a dedicated couples counselor who is set to bring fresh insights and valuable advice to our community.

     

    Meet Chelsey Liaga:

    Chelsey comes to us with a wealth of knowledge and experience in the field of relationship counseling. With a master’s degree in Social Work from Arizona State University, she has honed her skills in helping couples navigate the complex landscape of relationships.

    Her approach as a therapist focuses on empowering couples to find greater satisfaction in their partnerships, especially when they feel they lack the tools to do so on their own.

    Known for her practical relationship resources and expertise in couples therapy, Chelsey’s perspective is sure to provide valuable insights for navigating the ups and downs of contemporary relationships.

    We are confident that her contributions will be an invaluable asset to our amazing users like you.

     

    What Chelsey Brings to the Table

    Chelsey’s expertise spans a wide range of relationship topics, including:

    • Communication strategies for couples
    • Conflict resolution techniques
    • Building and maintaining intimacy
    • Navigating major life transitions together
    • Overcoming trust issues

    Her practical, empathetic approach to relationship counseling has helped numerous couples rediscover the spark in their relationships and build stronger, more resilient partnerships.

     

    How You Can Benefit from Chelsey’s Expertise

    As we welcome Chelsey to our team, we’re excited about the wealth of knowledge and support she’ll be offering to our community. Here’s how you can make the most of her expertise:

    1. Regular Blog Posts: Look out for Chelsey’s insightful articles on our blog, where she’ll be sharing tips, advice, and strategies for healthier relationships.
    2. Q&A Sessions: We’ll be hosting regular Q&A sessions where you can submit your relationship questions for Chelsey to answer.
    3. Relationship Resources: Chelsey will be developing exclusive resources for our community, including worksheets, guides, and exercises to strengthen your relationship.
    4. Webinars and Workshops: Keep an eye out for upcoming online events where Chelsey will dive deep into specific relationship topics.

     

    Shape the Conversation: Your Input Matters

    We believe that the best relationship advice comes from addressing real concerns and questions from our community.

    That’s why we’re inviting you to share your thoughts on what you’d like to see from Chelsey in the coming months.

    Do you have burning questions about maintaining a long-distance relationship?

    Are you curious about the best ways to reignite passion in a long-term partnership?

    Or perhaps you’re looking for strategies to improve communication with your significant other?

    Whatever your relationship concerns or interests, we want to hear from you! Your input will directly shape the content Chelsey creates, ensuring that it’s relevant, timely, and truly beneficial to you and your relationship. Comment below or head to our instagram to share your thoughts!

     

    Connect with Chelsey

    We encourage you to explore Chelsey’s work and connect with her online. You can find more of her valuable insights and resources on her website, My Friend the Therapist. Here, you’ll discover a treasure trove of articles, tools, and advice to support your relationship journey.

     

    Looking Ahead: Exciting Times for Our Relationship Community

    The addition of Chelsey Liaga to our team of experts marks an exciting new chapter in our mission to support and nurture healthy, fulfilling relationships.

    Together with Jessica Maxwell, Chelsey will be at the forefront of bringing you the latest research, practical advice, and compassionate guidance in the realm of relationships.

    We can’t wait for you to benefit from Chelsey’s advice and tips! Her fresh perspective, combined with her extensive experience, promises to offer new insights and strategies for navigating the complexities of modern relationships.

    Here’s to stronger, happier relationships with the expert guidance of Chelsey and our entire team of relationship professionals!

    Learn More About Chelsey
    Learn More About Chelsey
  • Reigniting the Spark – How to Reconnect with Your Partner

    Reigniting the Spark – How to Reconnect with Your Partner

    Every satisfying long-term relationship has a passionate, romantic spark at its center. But, that spark can flicker and fade over time, oftentimes because of no specific fault. Especially when you’re not sure how to reconnect with your partner. Kids enter the picture, you both become busy with your careers and date nights slip to the wayside.

    Whatever the case for your relationship, you need to know how to reconnect with your partner if you hope to stay committed and loving in the long term. Let’s begin!

    Read More: Booking Date Night is Key to Relationship Happiness

    Have an Honest, Open Conversation

    If you’ve noticed that you and your partner seem to be drifting apart – then it’s time for a talk. Maybe you don’t really talk  much or share kisses during the day any more? Perhaps your sex life has become practically nonexistent? The first step could be to schedule an afternoon or evening to have an honest and  open conversation with your partner about  where you both stand.

    In that conversation, tell them what you’ve been feeling. Express that you miss them and want to feel connected to them like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Above all else, try not to blame yourself or your partner – in many cases, relationships drifting apart happen naturally with time. Especially when you don’t have the tools to prioritize your relationship  in your life. But fortunately, it’s also something you can correct with the right attention.

    On the flip side, if your partner says they are feeling disconnected,  truly listen to them and try to identify the source of the issue (e.g., are you spending too much time answering work emails at night?) Acknowledge what they feel, and brainstorm ways you can take actions to improve your connection. 

    Use Cupla to Plan Regular Date Nights

    After you and your partner agree that you want to reconnect, you should focus on the number 1 best way to regain the spark you had earlier in your relationship: date nights. That’s right! Several studies indicate that planning date nights can promote closeness and improve your relationship satisfaction[1].

    Whether you have kids, or are e busy with work, prioritising one-on-one time with your partner is vital. Regular date nights:

    • Give you a chance to flirt, tease, and strike up some romantic tension like you enjoyed at the beginning stages of your relationship [2]
    • Signale to your partner that you want to spend exclusive, romantic time with them
    • Free up some time away from your kids, chores, and other responsibilities so you can just be a spouse or significant other

    The reason date nights have such a big impact? Quality time is a huge predictor of relationship closeness and satisfaction. Using two nationally representative samples of American couples, researchers found that, relative to couples who spend less quality time together, married couples who reported engaging in couple time with their partner at least once a week were 3.5 more likely to report they were very happy in their relationship. [3]

    Planning quality time and date nights is easier than you think, especially if you use a great couples app like Cupla. Cupla allows you to sync up your schedules and share important dates and events with your partner, all from a shared calendar. Even better, you and your partner can make date night suggestions and plan your romantic evenings together well beforehand.

    With Cupla, going on dates regularly again will be easier than ever, and you’ll eagerly anticipate each romantic evening in your future!

    Create Couples Rituals – and Stick to Them!

    Couples rituals don’t have to be serious or high-intensity. In a nutshell, couples rituals are just tasks or habits that you and your partner perform together regularly.

    For instance, maybe you and your partner both work separate jobs and only see each other in the evening. Instead of retreating to your phones, maybe you and your partner can cook dinner and clean the kitchen together instead. 

    This basic couple’s ritual will help you feel more connected than before, just by spending time together again, joking around, and tackling the shared work of your lives. 

    Set Aside a Little Time Each Day for Your Relationship

    In keeping with the above, you and your partner should spend a little time together each day where you don’t do a chore or complete a task. Sit on the couch together and watch a TV show, or eat dinner at the table and talk about your days rather than consume media.

    The point is to unify your lives where they might have been separating before. By setting aside a bit of time each day and dedicating that time to your relationship, you further signal that your relationship matters to you, which can help your partner prioritize your relationship as well.

    Cheer Your Partner On

    Couples report that having a partner who cheers them on – both literally and figuratively –  improves their relationship happiness. If your partner has something great happen – a job promotion, an exciting race or they try something new – cheer them on and support them! [4] This can also look like smaller gestures such as making an effort to support them by doing some extra chores, complimenting them, and giving them small gifts from time to time.

    After all, cheering your partner on is important for the health of your relationship, their self-esteem, and their interest in you as a partner (particularly for women, according to certain studies[5]). It’s also a good way to feel more connected to your partner, even if you are the giver and they are the receiver. It’s almost impossible not to feel good when you are focused on celebrating the good things happening to your partner! 

    Go on a Trip from Time to Time

    Lastly – and this tip is especially important for parents with kids and busy home lives – try  to carve out time to go on a trip, or switch up your surroundings once in a while. Even if it’s just to the beach for a few hours,  or to a bed and breakfast for a weekend, you and your partner need time to be alone. A vacation every now and again can help to re-energize your sex drive and your passion for your partner [6], which can all too often become smothered by the humdrum responsibilities and mundanities of everyday life. 

    Cupla Helps Couples Stay Connected for the Long Haul

    All in all, reconnecting with your partner is always possible. It’s a matter of commitment and effort. If you commit to connecting with your partner like you did before, you and your beau will be rolling in the sheets and sharing secret kisses sooner than you think! Check out Cupla’s free trial on iOS and Android to see how you can use our relationship app to reconnect with your partner like never before.

    [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8170361/

    [2] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-32735-005 

    [3] Wilcox, W. B., & Dew, J. (2012). The date night opportunity: What does couple time tell us about the potential value of date nights? Charlottesville, VA: The National Marriage Project.

    [4]  https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/your-future-self/201810/the-art-and-science-celebrating-the-good-times 

    [5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9168558/

    [6] https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2021/10/20/sex-and-travel-why-trips-often-turn-us-on/ 

  • 3 practical tips for maintaining a healthy relationship

    3 practical tips for maintaining a healthy relationship

    Whether you have been together for one year or ten years – all relationships require effort from both sides to maintain your connection. Below are three tips on how you and your partner can maintain a healthy relationship together.

    Try new things together

    No matter how much you love your partner or value your relationship, it’s not uncommon to feel a little bored in your relationship from time to time! One study found that after about one year the honeymoon phase starts to fade and couples tend to need to actively start working to maintain their relationship and bring back the spark.

    The key? Trying new things together and communicating honestly and openly!     Studies show that when couples try new things together, they report being happier. That’s why we pulled together 34 Date Night Ideas for Every Kind of Couple.

    But there is a catch! Make sure that when you’re trying new things together, both you and your partner are on board with the idea.     Research that tracked American married couples over time found that when spouses engaged in activities that husbands liked but wives did not, spouses were more prone to relationship unhappiness even a decade later! 

    So… make sure you’re trying something new together that both you and your partner are excited about. 

    Spend quality time with your partner

    Why is it so important that we book quality time with our partners? After a few years in a long-term relationship, that initial electricity you had when you first met mellows out into a small sizzle. Passion starts to look less like grand gestures and weekends away and more like routine and comfortable complacency. But after spending weeks months and years with someone, it’s only natural that it doesn’t feel like Guy Fawkes every night and that’s okay. But there’s one really easy thing you can do to keep the fire alive. 

    Dating your long-term partner – whether it’s been 6 months or 16 years is one of the best and easiest things to do to maintain your relationship. It’s equally important in maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship as it is in kicking one off!

    Using two nationally representative samples of American couples, researchers found that, relative to couples who spend less quality time together, married couples who reported engaging in couple time with their partner at least once a week were 3.5 more likely to report they were very happy in their relationship. Yes, you read that right 3.5 times more likely! This effect was even stronger in non-married women who were living with their partners and was observed above and beyond other important factors that influence relationships like income, ethnicity, and age.

    So, how can you make sure you are maximizing the chances that date night will lead to a higher-quality relationship? Book more date nights, using tools like those on Cupla! 

    Time is the currency of relationships. Investing time in your relationship allows you to build memories together, strengthen bonds, and overall enrich your relationship with your partner. 

    Plan time together, regularly

    While the quality of time you spend with your partner is important, the other factor at play is how often you do so! While one great date night a year might work for some couples, others would prefer a weekly date night where they get to spend one one-on-one time together.

    First up, communicate with your partner to see what you both would ideally like in terms of your date night frequency! Many couples solve the problem by putting a ‘date night’ in their diary. Instead of leaving it up to fate, there are so many tools out there to help couples spend regular time together.     Cupla has a suite of tools to help you do this – including a shared calendar to help you plan time together, and a date planner to keep you on track with date night.

    But one size does not fit all! While an app like Cupla might work for busy couples who are looking for an easy solution on their phone while they’re on the go, perhaps a wall calendar works for you and your partner to keep track of your time together. 

    —-

    In conclusion, there is no one solution to maintaining your relationship with your partner. A million and one tips are floating around in books, TV, movies, magazines, social media…

    To wrap up my three tips for a healthy relationship: start by communicating your needs with your partner openly and honestly    , trying new things, and making sure that you’re spending regular, quality time together. 

  • Romantic Chemistry 101 – Building Chemistry in a Relationship

    Romantic Chemistry 101 – Building Chemistry in a Relationship

    Valentine’s Day has just been and gone for another year. It’s a time when many of us take stock of our love lives and the chemistry in our relationship. Doing so may make you realize that some of that chemistry you had in your early days of dating has started to fizzle or that you are no longer feeling the romance or passion you crave. Don’t worry…we’ve got some science-backed tips for you and your partner to help reignite your spark.

    First: The Relationship Chemistry Basics

    Surprisingly, relationship researchers don’t know how to predict the feeling of ‘chemistry’ between two people.[1][2] But, I think we can all agree that we know it when we feel it. Maybe on your first date, the conversation effortlessly flowed as you talked about your favourite music. Or, you connected as you realised you have the same quirky sense of humour. In my own research, I’ve found that we can best predict who forms relationships out of a group of speed-daters by considering who feels unique chemistry. It’s not about who is the hottest or who is the most open to love (although those things help!)…. it is about two people feeling something special above and beyond their other dates[3]. And, once people form a relationship, sexual chemistry and sexual compatibility are important for staying satisfied.[4] In other words, chemistry is important for getting—and keeping—you and your partner together.

    So how can you nurture your chemistry in the bedroom and beyond?

    Take a Chemistry Test

    No, I am not talking about those cheesy magazine quizzes that will tell you if your relationship is “in need of a generator” or are an “electric storm” (for you Schitt’s Creek fans). Instead, your relationship might benefit from a sexual preferences quiz. You may think you know what your partner likes in the bedroom—you’ve been together awhile, after all—but there may be a few surprises yet. In fact, a study of long-term Canadian couples found that they knew 62% of their partner’s sexual likes and only 26% of their partner’s sexual dislikes.[5] Because sex is still something that makes a lot of us feel vulnerable and uncomfortable talking about, doing a sexual preferences quiz (like here or here) can be a non-awkward way for you to explore your sexual interests: You and your partner both fill in the survey on your own and afterward it gives you a list of activities you both independently said you would be open to trying (e.g., watching porn together, talking dirty). You may discover there is something you’ve both been secretly hoping to add to your bedroom routine. Trying something new is key to busting you out of your routine and reinvigorating your passion.   

    Find Your Sexual Catalyst

    One thing that might have changed from when you started your relationship is that you may no longer feel that “can’t wait to rip your clothes off” urge to have sex with your partner out of the blue. And that’s okay! Sexual desire often looks different in a long-term relationship. If you have read Emily Nagoski’s book “Come as You Are” (or listened to her podcast—we’re huge fans!), you know that having the right surroundings are important for getting in the mood. We often may not feel the spontaneous urge to rip our partner’s clothes off, but if we start ripping their clothes off, we can often get in the mood. She uses the analogy of a party—you may not always want to go, but once you are there, you usually have a good time. So how can you host a good party if you will? There’s obviously a lot of variability in terms of what gets people in the mood. If you’re using the Cupla app to-do lists, you are already nailing this (pun intended): Especially for women, feeling like they have to remind their partner about things and manage the household can really dampen their sexual desire[6]. In general, doing whatever you can to lower your partner’s stress is a good start—whether that’s through to-do lists, taking their mind off things with a date, or drawing them a bath!

    Your Chemistry Homework

    As anyone who took organic chemistry will tell you, you have to put in work if you want to ace chemistry. Romantic chemistry is no exception. Our fun “homework” to you is to try to recreate the feelings of chemistry you had with your partner in those early first few dates. Remember, there was something unique about the way you two hit it off, so let’s get you back to that place. A great way to do this is to literally get you back to that place and have you revisit the spot of your first date (or something similar). Or, you can metaphorically get back to that place by trying some of our date night conversation starters. Why does this work? Well, when you ask your partner questions you probably don’t know the answer to (“If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?”), you bring back the excitement of those early days when you were constantly learning new things about your partner[7].

    Cupla is a relationship management app for couples. With its user-friendly interface and innovative features including a shared calendar and to-do’s and date planner, Cupla empowers couples by providing tools for better organization, communication, and relationship well-being.

    Trial Cupla now for free on iOS or Android.

    [1] Joel, S., Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2017). Is romantic desire predictable? Machine learning applied to initial romantic attraction. Psychological science, 28(10), 1478-1489.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/trust-games/202111/why-do-algorithms-make-mistakes

    [2] https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/chemistry-relationships

    [3] https://www.psypost.org/2023/01/new-study-sheds-light-on-how-three-distinct-types-of-first-impressions-predict-subsequent-dating-outcomes-64705

    [4] https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-011-9771-z

    [5] MacNeil, S., & Byers, E. S. (2009). Role of sexual self-disclosure in the sexual satisfaction of long-term heterosexual couples. Journal of Sex Research, 46(1), 3-14.

    [6] https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=3090993591132003

    [7] http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-psychology-theories/self-expansion-theory/

  • Cupla Appoints Dr Jessica Maxwell as Resident Relationship and Sex Expert

    Cupla Appoints Dr Jessica Maxwell as Resident Relationship and Sex Expert

    Cupla is proud to announce the appointment of Jessica Maxwell as our resident relationship and sex expert.

    Founders Erika and Will Palmer know from their own experience the importance of quality time and its influence on the quality of our relationships. Quality time impacts nearly all facets of our lives; from our interactions, to our moods, and our sex lives, which in turn affects how happy we are, both in ourselves, and within our relationships. This is why the team are dedicated to building Cupla and sharing it with the world. They are also conscious that our time is valuable and want to ensure they are building a product that addresses the real needs of their users, and that these needs have been validated by science, rather than just their own anecdotal evidence. They believe that by sharing what they are discovering with their users, this helpful information can directly support and encourage happy, thriving couples everywhere using Cupla. 

    Cupla have partnered with Social Psychology Senior Lecturer at the University of Auckland; Jessica Maxwell and are excited to announce Jess as their new Relationship Expert. Not only is she the super
    charming, funny, and honest (the kind of chick we all want to be best friends with) she is phenomenally knowledgeable on what is really happening behind closed doors – including our bedroom doors.

    Jess’s research and expertise is focused on factors that help couples have more fulfilling sex lives and relationships. She gives Cupla a hyper credible source and an in-house authority to speak on all
    thing’s coupledom, supported by findings from thousands of couples across the globe. Believe it or not, they all contribute to and support the message that quality time is in fact the key to relationship
    success’ and nobody facilitates quality time quite like Cupla.

    Check out Jessica’s first article here where she discusses the impact of Covid on relationships and key insights couples can take from the experience.