Every satisfying long-term relationship has a passionate, romantic spark at its center. But, that spark can flicker and fade over time, oftentimes because of no specific fault. Especially when you’re not sure how to reconnect with your partner. Kids enter the picture, you both become busy with your careers and date nights slip to the wayside.
Whatever the case for your relationship, you need to know how to reconnect with your partner if you hope to stay committed and loving in the long term. Let’s begin!
Read More: Booking Date Night is Key to Relationship Happiness
Have an Honest, Open Conversation
If you’ve noticed that you and your partner seem to be drifting apart – then it’s time for a talk. Maybe you don’t really talk much or share kisses during the day any more? Perhaps your sex life has become practically nonexistent? The first step could be to schedule an afternoon or evening to have an honest and open conversation with your partner about where you both stand.
In that conversation, tell them what you’ve been feeling. Express that you miss them and want to feel connected to them like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Above all else, try not to blame yourself or your partner – in many cases, relationships drifting apart happen naturally with time. Especially when you don’t have the tools to prioritize your relationship in your life. But fortunately, it’s also something you can correct with the right attention.
On the flip side, if your partner says they are feeling disconnected, truly listen to them and try to identify the source of the issue (e.g., are you spending too much time answering work emails at night?) Acknowledge what they feel, and brainstorm ways you can take actions to improve your connection.
Use Cupla to Plan Regular Date Nights
After you and your partner agree that you want to reconnect, you should focus on the number 1 best way to regain the spark you had earlier in your relationship: date nights. That’s right! Several studies indicate that planning date nights can promote closeness and improve your relationship satisfaction[1].
Whether you have kids, or are e busy with work, prioritising one-on-one time with your partner is vital. Regular date nights:
- Give you a chance to flirt, tease, and strike up some romantic tension like you enjoyed at the beginning stages of your relationship [2]
- Signale to your partner that you want to spend exclusive, romantic time with them
- Free up some time away from your kids, chores, and other responsibilities so you can just be a spouse or significant other
The reason date nights have such a big impact? Quality time is a huge predictor of relationship closeness and satisfaction. Using two nationally representative samples of American couples, researchers found that, relative to couples who spend less quality time together, married couples who reported engaging in couple time with their partner at least once a week were 3.5 more likely to report they were very happy in their relationship. [3]
Planning quality time and date nights is easier than you think, especially if you use a great couples app like Cupla. Cupla allows you to sync up your schedules and share important dates and events with your partner, all from a shared calendar. Even better, you and your partner can make date night suggestions and plan your romantic evenings together well beforehand.
With Cupla, going on dates regularly again will be easier than ever, and you’ll eagerly anticipate each romantic evening in your future!
Create Couples Rituals – and Stick to Them!
Couples rituals don’t have to be serious or high-intensity. In a nutshell, couples rituals are just tasks or habits that you and your partner perform together regularly.
For instance, maybe you and your partner both work separate jobs and only see each other in the evening. Instead of retreating to your phones, maybe you and your partner can cook dinner and clean the kitchen together instead.
This basic couple’s ritual will help you feel more connected than before, just by spending time together again, joking around, and tackling the shared work of your lives.
Set Aside a Little Time Each Day for Your Relationship
In keeping with the above, you and your partner should spend a little time together each day where you don’t do a chore or complete a task. Sit on the couch together and watch a TV show, or eat dinner at the table and talk about your days rather than consume media.
The point is to unify your lives where they might have been separating before. By setting aside a bit of time each day and dedicating that time to your relationship, you further signal that your relationship matters to you, which can help your partner prioritize your relationship as well.
Cheer Your Partner On
Couples report that having a partner who cheers them on – both literally and figuratively – improves their relationship happiness. If your partner has something great happen – a job promotion, an exciting race or they try something new – cheer them on and support them! [4] This can also look like smaller gestures such as making an effort to support them by doing some extra chores, complimenting them, and giving them small gifts from time to time.
After all, cheering your partner on is important for the health of your relationship, their self-esteem, and their interest in you as a partner (particularly for women, according to certain studies[5]). It’s also a good way to feel more connected to your partner, even if you are the giver and they are the receiver. It’s almost impossible not to feel good when you are focused on celebrating the good things happening to your partner!
Go on a Trip from Time to Time
Lastly – and this tip is especially important for parents with kids and busy home lives – try to carve out time to go on a trip, or switch up your surroundings once in a while. Even if it’s just to the beach for a few hours, or to a bed and breakfast for a weekend, you and your partner need time to be alone. A vacation every now and again can help to re-energize your sex drive and your passion for your partner [6], which can all too often become smothered by the humdrum responsibilities and mundanities of everyday life.
Cupla Helps Couples Stay Connected for the Long Haul
All in all, reconnecting with your partner is always possible. It’s a matter of commitment and effort. If you commit to connecting with your partner like you did before, you and your beau will be rolling in the sheets and sharing secret kisses sooner than you think! Check out Cupla’s free trial on iOS and Android to see how you can use our relationship app to reconnect with your partner like never before.
[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8170361/
[2] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-32735-005
[3] Wilcox, W. B., & Dew, J. (2012). The date night opportunity: What does couple time tell us about the potential value of date nights? Charlottesville, VA: The National Marriage Project.
[5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9168558/
[6] https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2021/10/20/sex-and-travel-why-trips-often-turn-us-on/
