It’s no secret that relationships take work. And sometimes, for one reason or another, you can find yourself drifting apart from your partner, especially if you’re not putting in that work. But what does a healthy, working relationship look like? The secret is intimacy, but it may not be the intimacy you’re thinking of.
According to Utah State University: “There has been a cultural understanding that intimacy equals sex and vis versa, but this idea can be confusing, and even harmful for relationship growth. Sexual experiences can lack intimacy, just as intimate experiences can be void of any physical or sexual interaction”[1].
In this article, we’ll teach you how to be a better partner with simple ways to develop intimacy in the bedroom and anywhere else you go.
Communicate
You’ve probably heard this one dozens of times, but with good reason! The best way to foster understanding and intimacy between you and your partner is through communication. This means more than just talking, but actively listening as well.
When something’s bothering them, don’t just dismiss it or immediately try to fix their problems – listen! Ask questions so that they can explain their feelings in-depth. Once you know what they need from you, take actionable steps toward addressing it.
Communication also helps you feel close to your partner even when they’re far away. With a simple call, text, message on Cupla or DM on socials – you can ask them about their day or what’s on their mind. This helps them see that you care about them and want them to be a part of your life, and it helps teach you more about who they are as a person. This all helps build a stronger connection and might just make you fall deeper in love with them.
Show Affection
Physical touch is important for a healthy relationship. Surprisingly, an article in Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine details how touch can actually help make your physical health better through a better immune system through an increase in natural killer cells, which kill bacteria cells[2].
Even if you’re not a touchy person or a big fan of PDA, there are still ways to show your physical affection. A simple hug or kiss on the forehead can go a long way! Cuddling on the couch or in bed are also great ways to show physical touch in private, and they can often lead naturally to physical intimacy.
You can also show affection by giving compliments or doing thoughtful things, like making coffee in the morning or running errands while they finish work. These small acts of kindness not only make your partner feel appreciated but show that you care about their wellbeing.
And if you’re unable to show physical affection because you’re in a long-distance relationship, social media is a great substitute. Like their story posts, send memes with virtual kisses and hugs, or send a message telling them all the things you wish you were doing together. After all, a Stanford University article says, “More social media use helps people feel closer and happier in their relationships by making it easier to communicate across distance…talking through social technologies can actually become ‘hyperpersonal’ by exceeding what face-to-face conversations can do”[3].
Read more: Are Love Languages The Key To Relationship Satisfaction?
Spend Quality Time Together
The best relationships are strong because they make time for each other. You may have heard of the love language “Quality Time”. But it’s not just about being in the same room with each other. It’s important to do activities together that get you both talking. These will help you connect with each other, leading to a stronger bond. Put away your phone and focus on the present moment – your partner will thank you!
There are so many exciting activities you can try together. It can be simple, like cooking a meal or watching a movie. Or you could try something new, like dance classes or an escape room. Explore your city and discover all the possible things you could do together. There are plenty of fun things online for long-distance couples to do, too, so do your research!
It’s super important to choose an activity that you both will enjoy. This might seem obvious, but having fun is what makes or breaks a relationship. Research also shows that having fun together can help couples feel positive emotions, which in turn can cause an increase in relationship satisfaction. This can help couples unite to overcome differences and foster hope when working through difficult challenges in your relationship [4].
Surprises can be great, but they’re not always best for busy couples. To make sure you have the time for quality time with your partner, plan ahead. The Cupla app can help you in plan anything, from date night to chores around the house that need to get done. By putting events in your shared calendar, you’ll both be able to see when you’re free to plan quality time. Even better is that Cupla’s Date Planner can help remind you that you’re overdue for date nights! This way, you’ll be able to balance your work and your life, no matter how busy your schedules may be.
Show Your Partner Your Appreciation
Showing your partner how much you care about them keeps the spark alive in your relationship. One way to do that is by telling them how much you appreciate everything they do. Expressing gratitude through your words or a small gift can go a long way in making them feel valued and loved. This will also encourage them to show you how much they care about you in return.
Practicing gratitude can even improve your mood and reduce stress levels. A study in Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine found that writing gratitude letters gave people “significantly better mental health” after writing the letters over multiple weeks[5]. So write a little note before work or send a thank you on chat via Cupla and get rid of that angst!
Physical affection can also be a great option for you to show your appreciation. A hug or a kiss with your “thank you” is a lovely way to show your partner that your gratitude is rooted in your love for them.
Be A Better Partner With The Cupla App
Now that you know how to be a better partner, how do you get started? Make the time to do these little acts of love with the Cupla app!
Cupla is a relationship management app created to help you plan life with, and make time for, your partner. With shared calendars, reminders, chat, and to-do lists – you can plan quality time in the blink of an eye.
So improve your relationship today with a free trial of Cupla on iPhone or Android – you’re sure to bring back butterflies and bedroom eyes in no time!
[1] https://extension.usu.edu/strongermarriage/blog/what-is-intimacy
[2] https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_physical_touch_matters_for_your_well_being
[4] https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/research/the-importance-of-play-in-couple-relationships [5] https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain
