As 2023 comes to a close, it can be nice to look back at how far you’ve come. Maybe you moved in with your sweetheart this year or went on some truly spectacular dates. Maybe you upgraded your communication skills or started couples counselling to keep things running smoothly.
Whatever milestones you reach in your relationship, there’s always more room to grow. That’s part of what makes love so fun! Relationship researchers and love gurus alike have made leaps and bounds this year in finding what works to keep couples strong and happy. From communication hacks to must-haves, there’s a lot that’s worth bringing forward into the new year.
The Best Relationship Tips For 2024
Tip One: Cut To The Quick
If you find small grievances snowballing into full-blown arguments, the solution might be keeping things clean-cut and to the point. Experts have been able to distill conversations that need to happen into four clear talking points.
Imagine your partner does something to upset you. Instead of going off on them without a plan, try to structure your conversation like this.
- This is What I Saw or Heard – What actually happened, from an objective stance. This should be brief and include only the facts
- This is What I Made up About It – By phrasing your response like this, you will make it less accusatory, and give yourself an opportunity to see the parts of your reaction that come from stories you tell yourself
- This is How I Felt – Let your partner know exactly how this story you arrived at made you feel. It’s not about your thoughts on the subject, just how you feel about it
- This is What Would Help Me Feel Better – This is often forgotten, but it can be a powerful thing to speak aloud and let your partner in on
The key to this system is brevity. Without letting your own story or anger get in the way, you can communicate what happened, why it made you upset, and how you can move forward together with vulnerability and love.
Tip Two: Cut The Phubb
“Phubbing” might sound foreign, but in reality, it hits close to home for many of us. A combination of the words “phone” and “snubbing,” this silly-sounding word points to ignoring your partner in favor of your cellphone.
Getting phubbed has been shown to drastically impact relationship satisfaction, and it’s becoming more and more common. It’s virtually impossible to grow and nurture a relationship of trust and communication when you have a phone in between you at all times.
The solution to this is simple, but not always easy. Cutting through cellphone addiction is challenging, but by being proactive and scheduling time for you and your partner to unplug, you can bring back the connection that counts.
Tip Three: Help, Hear and Hug
When the person you love is upset, it can be difficult to know what to do. Sometimes what makes you feel supported is more of a hindrance to them, and the right answer could be different every time.
That’s why experts are telling people to ask this question when someone is upset, do you need to be helped, heard, or hugged?
This gives your partner a chance to articulate what exactly they need at the moment.
- Help – a solution that can be acted on right now
- Hear – a listening ear for them to vent and process aloud
- Hug – Physically hugging them, or simply being a warm and comforting presence as they process
This has helped countless times in my own relationship this year, as I often find myself jumping to find a solution when all my partner needs is someone to listen.
Tip Four: Make Time For Planned Intimacy
While movies and TV shows may have convinced us that spontaneous sex is inherently more satisfying, a new study early this year found that this isn’t realistic.
Researchers asked couples to document their sex lives for 21 days and got them to reflect on how satisfying each encounter was. In the end, they saw that people were just as happy after a scheduled spicy escapade as they were after a spontaneous one.
In fact, many couples find more satisfaction in planned-out intimacy because they aren’t worried about their to-do lists. Using an app like Cupla can help you to schedule some spice on your shared calendar, and even organize the perfect date to set the mood.
Tip Five: Save the Date
When you’re living with someone and moving through life together, you often forget to set aside time specifically for dates. You have dinner together every night, why should going out to eat be any different?
Studies have shown time and time again that regular date nights boost a couple’s
- Communication – Dates provide structure and space for conversations that couples might otherwise miss out on
- Commitment – One-on-one time and having fun together helps to strengthen the bond that couples share
- Libido – The romantic atmosphere and focus on a date is far more likely to naturally turn into some spicy activities later on
- Sense of Novelty – When you think outside the box and go on dates beyond your comfort zone, you have fun memories and shared experiences to fall back on
- Relationship Satisfaction – Ultimately, going on regular dates is one of the most effective ways to ensure your relationship stays happy and healthy
Specifically booking a time for date night makes it special, and shows that you’re just as committed to your relationship as you are to any other facet of your lives.
Ultimately, the biggest thing I’ll be taking forward into 2024 is Cupla!
A common theme across all these tips is the importance of communication and making time for one another. One of the easiest ways to upgrade these aspects of your life is by using a tool like Cupla.
Cupla’s simple and innovative shared calendars allow you to schedule time for date nights and spicy rendezvous, while its built-in chat and date planner help you find deeper connections with one another.
Trial Cupla today, and see how aligning your year with your partner’s can take your relationship to the next level.