Did someone say relationship resolutions? The start of the year is a magical time. It’s that one time of year where you feel like you can do anything which is probably why it’s around this time everyone thinks about setting New Year’s resolutions. When we make New Year’s resolutions, we usually tend to think of ourselves, not our relationships. But this time around, it might be a good idea to think about making some couples resolutions for New Year’s. While relationship improvement should be a year-round job, the start of the year offers a great opportunity to think of what you’ve done and how you can do it better.
It’s that one moment of peace where you can look at old relationship habits and commit to putting in the work to improve your relationship. Making relationship resolutions together with your partner can help you both stick to your promises, achieve your goals and strengthen your relationship as a whole. So, here are five Couples New Year’s resolutions every couple should consider for a happier relationship.
We will strive for emotional vulnerability
When it comes to couples new year’s resolutions, emotional vulnerability should be up there. One of the main traits of a great relationship is the depth of emotional intimacy between you and your partner. But getting to a place of emotional intimacy requires something a lot of people find very difficult to do: Emotional vulnerability.
Emotional vulnerability is about having the willingness to acknowledge and express your emotions with your partner. Especially emotions that are particularly difficult or painful. This can only happen if you’ve created a relationship dynamic where you both feel safe and free to express those feelings without judgement.
Why is it important to have emotional vulnerability in your relationship? It builds trust and intimacy. Trust and intimacy are the bedrock of a lot of successful relationships. While it’s easy to hide our true emotions to spare a loved one’s feelings, or even to avoid conflict or confrontation that means it ends up doing more harm than good. When you’re not honest with your partner about your needs or your feelings, you’re blocking yourself from having your needs met in your relationship. Plus, you’re also not giving your partner a fair chance to give you what you need too.
We will let each other know we appreciate each other
Healthy communication isn’t just about speaking up when you feel bad. It’s also about speaking up to let your partner know how much you recognise and appreciate all the things they do. Now, it’s not that we stop appreciating our partners over time, we just get bad at communicating that gratitude. This is dangerous because this is usually when we start taking our partners for granted.
So, a great relationship resolution to add to your list is to show your appreciation more. According to relationship and family therapist Juliana Hauser, PhD, showing your partner more gratitude consistently is a game-changer for intimacy and increased connection.
Showing your partner a little more appreciation is one of the best and easiest ways to ensure that your relationship stays healthy and secure over time. It’s easy to get so comfortable in a relationship that you forget about the little things. Like acknowledging when your other half does a great job of loving you.
There are lots of easy ways to make sure your partner feels appreciated and loved. A great place to start is incorporating small gestures into your day. It can be as simple as just saying good morning or giving them a kiss hello. Even just pausing to chat when they come through the door. Here are some simple phrases you can use to show your partner how much you appreciate them:
- “I love having you around”
- “I believe in you”
- “Thank you”
- “I appreciate you”
- “You make me feel safe”
We will spend more one-on-one time together
One key relationship resolution you need to put into practice is spending more one-on-one time together. Wherever you are in your relationship, date nights are a crucial part of keeping the spark alive. But with our busy schedules, career aspirations and family or social commitments, finding uninterrupted time to spend with your partner can get pretty difficult.
While it’s okay to not always have the time to see your partner, a serious lack of quality time can chip away at the foundation of your relationship. Over time, this ends up weakening your bond and affecting your happiness as a couple. Luckily, all it takes to get it back is a few uninterrupted hours of time to reconnect and ignite the good thing you’ve already got going.
This year, make an effort to commit to a weekly (or bi-weekly if you must) date night to reconnect and keep the romance alive in your relationship. Set a goal to do more things as a couple. Try out new experiences and adventures so you can make even more beautiful memories together. Your relationship will thank you for it.
With clever apps like Cupla, scheduling quality time together is even easier. The app automatically searches both you and your partner’s calendars and identifies the gaps where you can be together. It even gives you reminders to stay on top of your date nights!
Be More Affectionate
Have you ever gone through periods in your relationship where you feel like your partner isn’t being as affectionate or addressing your needs for intimacy?
In 1988 relationship psychologist, Ted Huston launched PAIR, the Processes of Adaptation In Intimate Relationships project. He followed 168 couples from the day they got married through the first thirteen years of marriage. The project found that the loss of love and affection was the most significant interpersonal dynamic that predicted divorce.
It’s important to keep expressing love and affection with your partner. Part of that is recognising that love is given and received in lots of different forms. For example, while physical touch is really important to some people, other people value words of affirmation or acts of service. You’ve probably heard of The 5 Love Languages, this is a good place to start. Find out how both you and your partner like to receive love and make an effort to speak their love language.
Those things you did at the start of your relationship? It’s time to bring them back. Hold hands. Kiss in public, dance in the rain. Okay, maybe not the last one. But make sure you make an effort to make 2022 a year of passion for you and your partner.
When it comes to couples new year’s resolutions, it’s important to remember that you can improve your relationship at any time of the year. If you’re looking for a handy helper to keep you on track with your relationship resolutions, why not give Cupla a try? Just click here to download it on the App Store, and here to get it on Google Play.
