If you’ve been keeping up with the latest relationship lingo, you’ve probably come across the term “beige flags”. It’s a concept that’s been making waves on social media platforms like TikTok, and it’s adding a new layer to how we understand and navigate our relationships. But what exactly are beige flags, and how do they impact our relationships? Let’s dive in.
Read more: Forget red flags: here are the top green flags for a solid relationship
What is a Beige Flag?
In the world of dating and relationships, we’re all familiar with the concept of red flags – those warning signs that indicate potential problems or incompatibilities in a relationship. On the other end of the spectrum, we have green flags, which are positive signs or behaviors that indicate a healthy and promising relationship.
Enter beige flags. The term “beige flags” started popping up on TikTok
in May 2022. Initially, beige flags were seen as signs that someone’s online dating profile was boring. However, the term has since evolved to incorporate more than just yawn-worthy traits or characteristics. Currently, a beige flag is being defined as something that isn’t exactly a dealbreaker in a relationship but is a strange quirk that definitely takes one for a loop.
For example, one TikTok user shared that their girlfriend’s beige flag is that she isn’t good at keeping surprises and usually ends up accidentally spoiling it. Another user explained that her boyfriend’s beige flag is that he’ll sometimes meow at her and expect her to meow back, and if she doesn’t, he’ll get upset.
The Impact of Beige Flags on Relationships
While beige flags may seem harmless or even endearing at first, they can have a significant impact on relationships over time. These quirky behaviors or traits can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or miscommunications, which can create tension or conflict in a relationship.
For instance, consider a scenario where one partner has a beige flag of being excessively punctual. They always arrive at least 15 minutes early for every appointment or social event. On the surface, this might seem like a positive trait. After all, who doesn’t appreciate punctuality? However, this could lead to misunderstandings if the other partner has a more relaxed attitude towards time. They might feel rushed or pressured to always be early, which could lead to tension or arguments.
In another example, let’s say one partner has a beige flag of being overly enthusiastic about a particular hobby, like bird-watching. They spend every free moment bird-watching, talking about birds, or researching different species. While this passion might be charming at first, it could become a point of contention if the other partner feels neglected or if their interests are constantly overshadowed by the bird-watching obsession.
In both these examples, the beige flags aren’t inherently negative. Punctuality and passion are generally seen as positive traits. However, when they’re taken to extremes, they can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications. The partner who’s always early might be perceived as rigid or controlling, while the bird-watching enthusiast might come across as self-absorbed or inconsiderate. Note “come across as” – it’s often not intentional.
These examples illustrate why it’s important to communicate openly about beige flags in a relationship. By discussing these quirks and understanding where each partner is coming from, couples can avoid misunderstandings and ensure that these beige flags don’t turn into red flags. It’s all about finding a balance and respecting each other’s individual quirks while maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship.
Beige Flags: A Cause for Concern?
So, should we be worried about beige flags? Not necessarily. Beige flags are not red flags. They’re not indicators of toxic behavior or potential harm. Instead, they’re those little quirks and idiosyncrasies that make our partners who they are.
According to Phyllis Ginsberg
, M.A., MFT and author, “We all have habits, traits, and behaviors that are unique to us and that make us who we are. They may be ways we cope, how we react to stress, or something we do to feel good.” As long as these behaviors aren’t causing harm or distress, they’re not something to be overly concerned about.
However, it’s important to note that while beige flags may not be dealbreakers, they can still impact our relationships. They can be sources of minor annoyance or confusion. They can lead to misunderstandings or miscommunications. And in some cases, they may even be indicators of deeper issues or incompatibilities.
Navigating Beige Flags in Relationships
So, how should we handle beige flags in our relationships? The first step is to recognize and understand them. Beige flags can be subtle, and it can be easy to overlook or dismiss them. But by paying attention to these quirks and oddities, we can gain a deeper understanding of our partners and our relationships.
Once we’ve identified a beige flag, the next step is to communicate. Open and honest communication is key in any relationship, and it’s especially important when dealing with beige flags. If a particular quirk or behavior is bothering you, it’s important to talk about it with your partner. Discuss your feelings and concerns, and try to find a solution or compromise that works for both of you.
Finally, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own beige flags. We all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and that’s part of what makes us unique. So, while it’s important to be aware of and address beige flags in our relationships, it’s also important to be understanding and accepting of our partners’ beige flags.
Beige flags are the latest addition to the relationship lingo, offering a new perspective on the quirks and oddities in our relationships. They’re not red flags or green flags, but they’re an important part of the relationship landscape. So, the next time you notice a beige flag in your relationship, don’t panic. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn more about your partner and deepen your connection.
Cupla is a relationship management app for couples. With its user-friendly interface and innovative features including a shared calendar and to-do’s and date planner, Cupla empowers couples by providing tools for better organization, communication, and relationship well-being.
Trial Cupla now for free on iOS or Android.