The 100 List

Free guide

A hundred things you want to do together, big and small, written down so they actually happen.

8 categories · free

The list gets written on The Dreaming Date — the first of The Twelve, and the only date with pages built just for it. Dessert or a glass of something, music on, and no ambition beyond filling pages. Work through the categories below, start with the questions, and add whatever comes up. One evening to begin, then come back to it all year: keep the list somewhere you both can see it, like Cupla.

How to build the list

  • Both of you add. Take turns so one voice doesn’t fill the page.
  • Nothing is too small. A picnic counts as much as a safari.
  • Mix this-year items with someday ones.
  • No vetoes while you’re writing.
  • Be specific. “Travel more” becomes “a week on the Amalfi Coast.”
  • Tick things off, and keep adding.

Three questions to get the list started

What did you dream of doing before we met?

What’s one thing you’d regret never doing together?

What could we do this month that would feel like a small adventure?

Prompts by category

Start with the questions. The examples are there if you get stuck.

  • Adventure

    Think about

    • What would you both say yes to, if fear weren’t a factor?
    • Is there something one of you has always wanted to try but never had the push to?
    • What would make a story you’d still be telling in twenty years?

    For example

    • Sleep under the stars with no phone signal
    • Skydive, scuba dive or bungee jump
    • Take a trip with no plan beyond the first night
    • See the northern lights

  • Travel

    Think about

    • Which experiences can you only have in one place?
    • How do you want to travel: cruise, hike, safari, road trip, train or sailing?
    • Is there somewhere that matters to your family or your story?

    For example

    • Go on safari
    • Take a long train journey across a country
    • Go back to where you first met
    • Spend a month living somewhere new

  • Learning

    Think about

    • What skill would change how you spend your weekends?
    • Is there a trip coming that a language would unlock?
    • What could each of you teach the other?

    For example

    • Learn a language before a trip that needs it
    • Take a dance class and keep going past the awkward stage
    • Learn to sail, surf or ski together
    • Each teach the other something you’re good at

  • Food and drink

    Think about

    • Which dish do you want to taste where it comes from?
    • Is there a restaurant you’re saving for something special?
    • What would you love to know how to make?

    For example

    • Eat pasta in Italy and ramen in Japan
    • Do a cooking class abroad
    • Make your grandparents’ recipes
    • Visit a vineyard, brewery or farm and see how it’s made

  • Home and place

    Think about

    • What would make home feel more like yours?
    • Where would you live for a season if you could?
    • What have you been meaning to host?

    For example

    • Grow something you can eat
    • Finish the room that’s been half-done for too long
    • Host the dinner party you keep talking about
    • Live by the water for a summer

  • Creative

    Think about

    • What would you love to have made together in ten years’ time?
    • Is there something creative one of you has let go of?
    • How do you want to remember this time?

    For example

    • Make a photo book of one year together
    • Write each other letters to open in ten years
    • Build a piece of furniture or a garden bed
    • Learn to play a song together

  • Body and outdoors

    Think about

    • Which challenge would you be proud to finish side by side?
    • Where in nature do you both feel best?
    • Is there an event you could train for together?

    For example

    • Walk a multi-day trail
    • Finish a fun run, triathlon or ocean swim together
    • Swim somewhere wild
    • Watch the sunrise from a summit

  • Family, friends and community

    Think about

    • Who do you wish you saw more?
    • Which tradition would you like to start, or keep going?
    • Is there a cause you both care about?

    For example

    • Plan a trip with the friends you never see enough
    • Volunteer together for a cause you both care about
    • Start a tradition your family keeps
    • Throw a party for no reason at all

Why this works

Most of the things couples want to do together never happen because nobody wrote them down. A shared list turns “we should one day” into something you can plan, and gives you both something to look forward to.

The clearest finding in our research is that couples who plan and dream together feel better about their relationship.1 Science backs up the claim, telling us that the commitment a couple feels is more linked to how they feel about the future than about the present.6

  1. 1Cupla (2025). Impact Report 2025: Insights from the Annual Relationship Survey (N = 2,110). Survey designed by Dr. Jessica Maxwell, with analysis by Dr. Emily Cross.
  2. 6Baker, L. R., McNulty, J. K., & VanderDrift, L. E. (2017). Expectations for future relationship satisfaction: Unique sources and critical implications for commitment. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 146(5), 700–721.