The Weekly Sync

Free guide

Fill your week up purposefully so it doesn’t happen for you with things you don’t care about.

15-minute agenda · free, no signup

Fifteen minutes, once a week, same time each week, before the week begins. Work down the agenda in order and capture anything that turns into a plan in Cupla, or whatever you already use. Missing a week is normal — you pick it up the next week, and nothing is broken.

Download the PDF

The agenda

What you should cover

  • The week ahead: what’s on, for each of us and for us
  • Who’s-got-what: the handoffs, pickups, and logistics
  • One thing I need from you this week
  • One thing to look forward to
  • Any risks to the week worth mentioning now

What you can add into Cupla, or check in Cupla

  • What quality time you have scheduled. If we don’t have a date, where can we connect throughout the week?
  • Whether all the important meetings that need to be there are actually there
  • Any time clashes?
  • Tight turnarounds?
  • Do you have solo care time in there?

Three questions worth asking out loud

  • What can I do that would make your week easier?
  • When can we connect this week, outside of a scheduled date night?
  • What does ‘great’ look like this week?

What a real sync sounds like

Logistics to emotional, big to tiny. All of it counts.

The week ahead

  • I’ve got a late meeting Thursday; could you take dinner that night?
  • Big deadline Friday, so I might be distracted; bear with me until it’s done
  • The car’s due for its service; who can drop it off?

Who’s-got-what

  • Who’s got pickup on Tuesday?
  • Can you take the online groceries this week? I’ll do next
  • Daycare needs the form back by Wednesday; who’s doing it?

One thing I need from you

  • I need an hour to myself on Saturday morning
  • Can you ask how the presentation went? It matters to me this week
  • I need an early night Tuesday; can you handle bedtime?

One thing to look forward to

  • Takeout and the next episode on Friday, no phones
  • Two weeks until the long weekend away
  • Date night is booked; you still don’t know where we’re going

Why this works

Almost everything that causes friction in a busy week is a need that never got said out loud. The Weekly Sync clears all of it in fifteen minutes, before the week has a chance to create it.

The Gottmans give couples a weekly State of the Union: a standing, once-a-week conversation, rather than raising things as they arise. The fixed slot is the mechanism, not the willingness.1

Couples who spend quality time together at least once a week are three and a half times more likely to describe themselves as very happy in the relationship.2 In the Cupla survey of 2,110 couples, 76% reported improved communication, the top-rated benefit of all.3

  1. 1The Gottman Institute. How to have a State of the Union meeting.
  2. 2Wilcox, W. B. and Dew, J. The Date Night Opportunity. National Marriage Project.
  3. 3Cupla survey of 2,110 couples.

Download the PDF

Print it, or keep it on your phone. Free, no signup.

Download the PDF