Do you want to deepen the emotional intimacy between you and your partner?
Are you looking for a bonding activity that allows you both to slow down and connect while developing a secure attachment? Or maybe you are just looking for a fun, new, novel hobby that you can both easily share.
If that’s the case, maybe it’s time you started reading books together as a couple, as evidence suggests that reading can help you achieve all of these things, and more in a romantic relationship.
If you want to discover the best books for couples – then stay tuned because we’ve pulled together the ultimate reading list for you and your partner.
Why Should Couples Read Together?
First off, reading is fun, and it helps give our brains a break from the fast pace of modern life. It allows us to escape our worries and problems if only for a little while, and it opens a space for some much-needed quiet time where we can rest, recharge, and reconnect, with both ourselves and our significant other.
Reading has multiple benefits including an ability to boost brain health and reduce stress, with research showing that couples who read together, actually become closer.
But how?
Couples grow together whenever they share new thoughts and ideas through discussing what they’ve learned together via reading.
That’s why we’ve pulled together a range of books that are perfect for couples to explore, and enjoy together.
Whether you want to learn more about yourself, your partner, or the ways that you both approach relationships – here are 15 of the best audiobooks, and paperbacks for couples to read together in 2024:
It’s all backed by evidence.
Books for Couples to Read Together – Our 15 Picks
Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection
By Dr. John Schwartz Gottman and, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.
World-renowned relationship experts Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman bring decades of their ground-breaking research on the science of love to the important, and challenging topic of conflict.
Conflict is the number one reason that couples seek help in their relationship, so this book is an invaluable tool for any partnership wishing to learn positive techniques for managing disagreements.
Fight Right will teach you how to avoid the five critical mistakes that couples often make during conflict, and instead, teach you how to ‘fight right’ and use conflict as an opportunity for greater intimacy, deeper connection, and lasting love.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- Using decades of research, compelling case studies, and a new international study, the Gottmans prove that even couples who are truly struggling in conflict and have really lost their way are able to recover and find their way back to each other.
- For those couples in crisis, or those who want to change their relationship dynamic, Fight Right is the go-to guide to understanding how to fight better, offering urgent and perennial lessons for healthy conflict.
Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire
By Mark Groves and, Kylie McBeath
Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath, champions of positive philosophy, provide us with a roadmap, one they walked themselves, to step out of protection mode and into connection mode.
Groves and McBeath’s work – through their Create the Love seminars, workbooks, and consultation programs – has educated a new generation of relationship seekers on the best ways to practice and cultivate love.
In Liberated Love, you’ll explore your original relationship blueprint and learn how it informs your current relationships (spoiler alert: it’s often a pretty direct line), and discover how limitation can be the key to finding freedom and experiencing fully realized love with another person.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- This program is read by the authors and features audio-exclusive conversations between them at the end of each chapter.
- Liberated Love is the ultimate guide to building and maintaining sustainable relationships that feel safe, real, and evolved.
- Equipped with real-life situations and stories, exercises, rituals, and tools that lead to productive self-examination, Groves and McBeath illuminate how to be aware of our most instinctual defenses, survival strategies, and coping mechanisms.
Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex
By Michael Todd
This number-one New York Times bestseller is a candid, inspiring guide to finding lasting love and sustaining a healthy relationship by getting real about your goals – based on the viral, multi-million-view sermon series about dating, marriage, and sex.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- This book attempts to answer questions like; Where did the idea for relationships come from in the first place?
- Does God really care who I hang out with?
- Is it even possible to avoid relational train wrecks?
- From his plan for intentional dating in the age of social media to handling break-ups well to doing family instead of just being in a family, Michael tackles the questions we all have about relational success.
It’s Not You: How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People
By Dr. Ramani Durvasula
You might already be familiar with some of Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s work as in recent years she has become a social media sensation.
Many of her YouTube videos on how to spot and deal with narcissism within our romantic, professional, and family connections have become viral hits on Instagram, and TikTok.
But there is good reason for the popularity of Dr. Ramani’s work; because she shares valuable information that educates people on narcissism, and teaches them how to identify narcissistic individuals, deal with them, and heal from them effectively.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- How to spot the tell-tale signs of a narcissist.
- Confronting toxic cycles.
- Protecting your energy.
- Creating realistic boundaries.
- Reclaiming and embracing your true self.
Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier
By Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey
This #1 New York Times bestseller is a must-read for couples everywhere as it is packed with relatable, juicy advice, tips, and science on how to not only build the life you want with your partner, but also implement strategies that are scientifically proven to increase our levels of happiness.
In this book, Arthur C. Brooks, a Harvard Professor, and Oprah tap into their years of wisdom and success to deliver actionable steps that you and your partner can practice together to move in the direction of your dreams, and goals while implementing “The Science of Happiness”.
This book has something for everyone and it’s a great option for reading aloud together, listening to as an audiobook, or even taking to a couples book club.
This is a book that will help you and your partner connect, and grow closer, and you may even find yourselves embarking on an epic quest of self-discovery together.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- How to manage your emotions so they no longer control your outlook and behavior.
- Turn life’s inevitable difficulties and challenges into opportunities for growth.
- Strengthen your family ties by managing your expectations and building trust.
- Create and preserve deep and lasting relationships and friendships at any age.
- Develop an approach to work that fits your life and brings satisfaction.
- Find your inner peace with a spiritual practice and transform your relationship both with yourself, and your partner.
The 5 Love Languages
By Dr. Gary Chapman
In The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship expert, takes you through a Couple’s Personal Profile Assessment to help you and your partner determine what your preferred love language is.
If you’ve ever heard people talk about physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and gifts as their love languages – it’s all thanks to Dr. Gary Chapman.
Dive in as a couple and read this book to discover what your love languages are, so that you can grow closer together, deepen your bond, and learn how your partner wants and needs to be loved.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples toward a better understanding of their unique languages of love.
- Learn to speak and understand your mate’s love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love, and truly feel loved in return.
- Skillful communication is within your grasp with this book.
Mating in Captivity
By Esther Perel
Esther Perel – a well-known social media sensation – is a renowned New York City therapist and one of the most respected voices on erotic intelligence of our time.
Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, she explores the complexities of sustaining desire in a long-term relationship.
In Mating in Captivity, Esther delves into how to sustain exciting, playful sex in a long-term relationship. So if physical intimacy is something that you and your partner want more of, this might just be the book for you.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion, and often, the very thing that got us into our relationship – lust – is the one thing that goes missing from it.
- Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom; she argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty; and shows what it takes to bring lust home.
- Smart, sexy, and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist’s essential bedtime read.
A Mindful Year: 365 Ways to Find Connection and the Sacred in Everyday Life
By Aria Campbell-Danesh, Ph.D. Gillihan, Seth J, Ph.D.
This book is a perfect choice for couples to read together, especially if you both lead busy lives, and time is an issue as it offers a nugget of wisdom for each day, 365 days of the year.
Written by two Psychologists who are experts in Cognitive Behavioral Change, this book is thought-provoking and it offers a unique opportunity for you and your partner to learn something new together by reading just a couple of pages every day.
This allows you to develop a routine that you can both realistically stick to, and you could even agree to read one page together each night before bed.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- A Mindful Year invites you to start a new pattern—one that begins with taking just a few quiet moments to reconnect with what is most important, each day.
- The first book of its kind to join the age-old wisdom of mindfulness with cognitive behavioral science – it contains tested practices for alleviating stress and anxiety.
- As practical as it is inspirational, A Mindful Year marries moments of mindful reflection with calls to action – daily nuggets of wisdom paired with friendly encouragement to live in a way that is grounded, authentic, and compassionate.
- An excellent book for provoking meaningful conversations between you and your partner.
Attached
By Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S. F. Heller, M.A.
Attached is a great book to help you and your partner learn more about yourselves, each other, and your relationship dynamic. It covers the different attachment styles people might have and how they impact experiences in a romantic relationship.
Amir Levine and Rachel Heller explore three different basic attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure. They explore why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others seem to struggle. In our opinion, this is a must-read for all couples!
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- This book provides an insightful look at the science behind love and offers couples a road map for building a stronger, healthy relationship.
- ‘A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship.’ – John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
- With fascinating psychological insight, quizzes, practical advice, and case studies, Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Heller help you understand the three attachment styles, identify your own, and recognize the styles of others so that you can find compatible partners, and improve your existing relationship.
Hold Me Tight
By Dr. Sue Johnson
Hold Me Tight is another book focused on attachment theory. Only this time it explores tools that are great for couples experiencing high conflict.
With over one million copies sold, this book blends the best research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate relationship expert.
It has stories from Dr Johnson’s clinical practice with couples, helpful advice, and practical exercises to help you grow your relationship.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time.
- Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish a safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
- Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
I Love You But I Don’t Trust You
By Mira Kirshenbaum
Many things can lead to mistrust in a relationship, whether it is seemingly small white lies or cheating and betrayal – whatever it is – a loss of trust that isn’t addressed can wreak havoc on your relationship.
Mira Kirshenbaum takes readers through how to regain trust, avoid the mistakes that impede healing, and lead you and your partner back to feeling secure in your relationship.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- A guide to restoring trust in broken relationships from a renowned couple’s therapist.
- This book will help you answer questions like; Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again?
- This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.
Reigniting The Spark
By Dr. Bruce Chalmer
In Reigniting the Spark, couples therapist Dr. Bruce Chalmer shares real-life case studies based on couples he’s helped to discuss some of the common issues couples face.
Read this book to learn how to build a better relationship with your partner that is full of passion, better sex, and less arguments.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- Dr. Chalmer combines his expertise in science with thirty years of experience as a couples therapist to show how you can restore intimacy and overcome any relationship problem to create and maintain a lively, loving, lasting relationship.
- He also offers a unique perspective on the role of faith (not necessarily religious faith) in relationships.
- How to build and restore intimacy, trust, and a deep connection in your relationship
- How to identify triggering issues like trauma that could be sapping the joy out of your relationship, and exactly what to do about it.
The Relationship Cure
By Dr. John Gottman
Dr. Gottman is an incredible writer and expert on relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he shares a 5-step program for improving any relationship, not just romantic ones.
A lot of Dr. Gottman’s work focuses on the “bid for connection” theory, which he claims is the fundamental skill that sets successful couples apart from the rest.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- This book reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”.
- Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection.
- Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids.
Getting the Love You Want
By Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. & Helen LaKelly Hunt PhD
Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples experience more satisfying relationships and is recommended every day by professional therapists around the world.
Relationships are the key to life, and this book has helped couples for over 30 years. Whether you’re looking to bring your love to newer heights or deal with current conflict, this book is packed with useful tips and advice for any couple looking to become closer together.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- Dr Harville Hendrix shares what he has learned about the psychology of love during more than thirty years of working as a therapist and helps you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship.
- Dr Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, have added a new introduction describing the powerful influence this book has had on so many people over the years.
- With its step-by-step program, Getting the Love You Want will help you create a loving, supportive and revitalized partnership.
The Normal Bar
By Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz and James Witte
Based on data collected from close to 100,000 respondents, this book is the ultimate resource for couples who want to learn the relationship-tested ways they can achieve satisfaction and contentment in areas such as communication, sex, affection, and financial cooperation.
This book mixes savvy insights and science in a way that will make you and your partner laugh while you learn.
What can you expect to learn from this book:
- Wellness entrepreneur Chrisanna Northrup teamed with two of America’s top sociologists, Yale Ph.D. Pepper Schwartz and Harvard Ph.D. James Witte, to design a unique interactive survey that would draw feedback from around the world.
- The extensive results allow The Normal Bar to offer readers an array of prescriptive tools that help them establish a “new normal.”
- Mindful of what keeps couples stuck in ruts, the book’s authors suggest practical and life-changing ways to break cycles of disappointment and frustration.
Some of these books have the potential to transform your romantic relationship, taking it to new levels of love, trust, and intimacy; so, why not pick one or two to read over the next few months to help you grow closer together?
Better still – you can use the Cupla app to make finding time together to read even simpler as Cupla allows you and your partner to align your schedules and plan the best time for your “reading date.”
Download Cupla and join 100,000+ couples to start enjoying hassle-free scheduling with your significant other now!
